Bullying continues to be a significant challenge impacting youth, with its landscape evolving, particularly with the rise of the digital world. While the core damage inflicted by bullying of emotional distress, academic decline, anxiety, depression, and behavioral issues remains devastatingly real, our understanding and strategies for prevention need constant updating.
Current Scope
- Prevalence in Schools: Approximately 19% of students aged 12–18 reported being bullied at school during the school year (StopBullying.gov).
- Cyberbullying: Nearly 46% of U.S. teens aged 13–17 have experienced at least one form of cyberbullying, including name-calling and spreading false rumors (Pew Research Center, 2022).
- Consequences: Bullying is linked to long-term mental health struggles, physical symptoms (like headaches or stomachaches), school avoidance, and an increased risk of self-harm or suicidal ideation (CDC, 2023).
Empowering Youth: Evidence-Based Strategies
Cultivate Inner and Outer Confidence
Bullies often target individuals perceived as vulnerable or lacking self-assurance. Building genuine confidence can serve as a powerful deterrent.
- Focus: Encourage children to develop a strong sense of self-worth based on their values and strengths, not just external validation.
- Projection: Promote positive body language of standing tall, making respectful eye contact, and speaking clearly. Taking pride in personal presentation can also boost self-perception.
- Parental/Caregiver Role: Provide consistent support, celebrate effort (not just outcomes), encourage autonomy in safe decisions, and model confident, respectful behavior. Validate their feelings and experiences (American Psychological Association).
Build and Leverage Supportive Friendships
Supportive peers can act as a critical buffer against bullying.
- Quality over Quantity: Encourage nurturing a few genuine, trustworthy friendships rather than seeking widespread popularity.
- Stick Together: Bullies are less likely to target someone who is visibly connected. Encourage kids to walk with friends between classes, sit together at lunch or on the bus, and partner up during activities.
- Online Allies: Discuss the importance of supportive friends online too. Encourage them to speak up (safely) or report hurtful behavior they witness in group chats or on social media. Having friends who “have your back” digitally is crucial (PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center).
Assertively Set Boundaries and Respond
Knowing how to react when bullying occurs is essential. Passivity often emboldens bullies.
- Use Your Voice Calmly and Clearly: If safe, teach children to assertively say “Stop,” “I don’t like that,” or “Leave me alone” in a firm, calm voice while maintaining eye contact if possible. Avoid insults or escalating aggression.
- Walk Away: After asserting themselves, the best step is often to calmly walk away and remove themselves from the situation. This denies the bully the reaction they often seek.
- De-escalate: Avoid crying, yelling back aggressively, or showing intense fear/anger in the moment, as this can fuel the bully. Focus on staying calm and disengaging (StopBullying.gov).
Report and Seek Help from Trusted Adults
Children cannot and should not handle bullying alone.
- It’s Not Tattling: Emphasize that reporting bullying is responsible and necessary for their safety and the safety of others. Bullying thrives in silence.
- Identify Trusted Adults: Help children identify multiple adults they trust parents, teachers, counselors, coaches, or relatives. Encourage them to tell at least one adult immediately and persistently until action is taken.
- Document: For cyberbullying, save screenshots, messages, and URLs. Provide this documentation to adults or the relevant platform (Cyberbullying Research Center).
Finding Your Power
While martial arts can be one excellent avenue for building physical confidence, discipline, and self-respect, any activity that fosters a sense of competence, belonging, and self-esteem is valuable sports, arts, clubs, volunteering. The true power lies in confidence, strong support networks, knowing how to respond assertively, and, crucially, seeking help from trusted adults.
By implementing these updated strategies, young people are better equipped to navigate challenging social situations, reduce their risk of victimization, and mitigate the potentially severe consequences of bullying.
Gain the Support of Friends
One or two great friends is worth more than 100 fair-weather friends. This is especially true if someone wants to avoid being bullied.
Kids should pick their friends wisely, and should gather their support. Remaining in contact with those friends – walking down the school halls with them, sitting with them on the bus, or eating with them in the cafeteria – will prevent a bully from targeting a child. Typically, bullies tend to take aim at children who are ‘loners.’ Support from friends is a highly powerful force against bullies.
Stand Up for Yourself
If a bully does start to attack, a child should not only know that it is OK to stand up for him- or herself, but that standing up must be done.
If a child encounters someone who is saying or doing hurtful things, that child should exert his or her inner confidence, stand tall, look the bully in the eye and tell him or her to stop it. Once the child tells the bully to stop, he or she should walk away and move on. Letting the bully see that he or she has impacted the victim will only make him or her feel successful, which will make him or her want to try again.
Kids have the power to stop bullies, and martial arts help them find that power. By following these tips, children can avoid being the victim of such cruel behavior and avoid the lasting consequences of bullying.
